I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
