i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
