normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
