the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
this will be a night to untag.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
