You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Houston, we have a squirter
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
