yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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