He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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