my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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