how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
