He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize