I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
