He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
