Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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