Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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