Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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