on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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