He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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