Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He better not be in your backpack
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
