I cannot find my penis.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
