if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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