I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
