For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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