My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
