youre lurking in front of me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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