he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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