He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My bed smells like the plague
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
