so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
whose ass print is on the piano?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
