Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
