I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
