ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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