i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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