I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
