All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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