don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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