hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
