he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
