thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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