There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I just sharted jello shots
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