who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you still have your period?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
