it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
