I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
