what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I will pee on everything he values.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
