Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
