office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
