i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
