At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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