I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
