We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
