...so i touched it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
