I feel like abortions should bother me more
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
