awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
