Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
