I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
