whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
And then my night got REAL pukey
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
