there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
