We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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