Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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