I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
